The Hickey Endeavor
by Misophonia
Summary: This is written for the "Big Bang Theory Talk To Me Challenge". Summary: After making an important decision to take an interesting physical step forward in their relationship, Sheldon begins to feel a little nervous


**Title**: The Hickey Endeavor

**Author**: Misophonia

**Pairing/Characters**: Sheldon/Amy

**Rating**: PG

**Word Count**: 595

**Spoilers**: None

**Author's Notes**: Written for the **Big Bang Theory Talk To Me Challenge**, elements listed at the end.

**Summary**: After making an important decision to take an interesting physical step forward in their relationship, Sheldon begins to feel a little nervous.

* * *

"You start."

"Why do I have to go first?"

"Ladies first. That's the rule."

"I don't think that applies in this situation, Sheldon. You start."

"What if I get it wrong?"

"I'm your girlfriend. Nothing we do together is ever going to be wrong."

"Hmm … I must consider this further."

"We've been together for three years. What is there to think about?"

"You've only been my girlfriend for two years. You can't possibly think I was considering this before then."

"_I_ was."

"What? Amy, what are you saying?"

"You look so sexy when you're scandalized. I'm simply saying I have been considering this endeavor for long time. Now, if you will get on with it, you'll feel better."

"I believe we should postpone. There is further research to be done on—"

"Research what? We've already read several articles on the subject, drawn three graphs, and charted out the steps. What's left to research? It's a simple process. You lean towards the person, apply your lips, and let instinct do the rest."

"Amy, are you saying you've done this before?"

"No."

"Your confident tone would suggest otherwise."

"You can turn those doubting baby blues in another direction. I assure you this will be a new venture for me. However, I will admit I have always wanted a hickey. Nothing says 'See world? I do have a boyfriend!' like a prominently-displayed hickey."

"Amy, upon further consideration, I do not believe I will be able to engage in this activity after all. Your present manic expression leaves me uneasy as it reminds me of the stereotypical villain of old twirling his mustache right before he takes the virginity of the innocent maiden he's kidnapped."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Does that make you the innocent maiden in this scenario? I must admit it. The scenario is oddly titillating. Perhaps we could—"

"Dear lord, woman, what are you doing?"

"Well, as you were not interested in taking part in our initial endeavor, I thought it might be nice to come up with a more pleasing alternative."

"And this 'pleasing alternative' includes you putting your hands on my chest?"

"I was trying to induce you to kiss me, Sheldon. Is that so horrible?"

"No … not horrible. Merely unexpected."

"It's certainly easier to do that than what we had originally planned."

"Yes, I can certainly agree that it would—Wait a minute. Is that what you had planned all along, Amy Farrah Fowler? Were you working out a way to somehow manipulate me into kissing you?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Your shifty eyes and flushed cheeks indicate otherwise. Admit it. Your diaphanously-veiled plan is falling apart as we speak."

"Fine. But I will point out that we did agree to exchange hickeys, Sheldon Cooper. I followed the relationship agreement guidelines, submitted a request to try something new in advance, and we have scheduled this to happen right now. Therefore, by your own rules, you must suck up your assorted neuroses and deliver the goods, buddy."

"Counterproposal: I agree to a kiss, and we drop this hickey nonsense once and for all. I don't know how I let you talk me into it to begin with. The next time I come over to your apartment and you offer me Strawberry Quick, I am going to leave."

"I will accept your proposal provided you agree that the kiss will take place right here, right now and that the kiss must be delivered on the lips."

"It is so agreed."

"Good."

"…"

"…"

"So?"

"Oh. Yes. Right … You start."

* * *

**The Big Bang Theory Talk To Me Challenge Elements**

All Dialog

500-600 Words

Any Characters

**Must include any 5 of the following words or phrases:**

Semiotics

**Neuroses**

Mirror symmetry

Unspecified disturbance of conduct

**Chart**

**Graph**

**Diaphanous**

Grotesque

Star Trek

Holy crap on a cracker

**Schedule**

Snoring


End file.
